Deep Play: How Dance Helped Reignite Me
A few months ago, I posted on LinkedIn about the Ten Commandments of Rest from Alex Pang’s book, Rest. The concepts in this book continue to resonate with me deeply. One “commandment” that especially stands out is the idea of Deep Play. This principle has helped me reconnect with creativity, clarity, and joy in both my personal and professional life.
But Deep Play isn’t what you might think.
What Is Deep Play?
In his book, Pang explains how some of the most accomplished professionals such as scientists, doctors, artists, and leaders, engage in complex thinking outside of their work through what anthropologists refer to as deep play.
The core idea is this: while the hobby or activity differs from your day-to-day role, it activates the same intellectual muscles. It’s challenging. It’s absorbing. And as a result, it’s joyful.
Imagine a physicist who spends their weekdays unraveling theoretical puzzles and their weekends scaling rock faces. They are still problem-solving, still assessing variables and consequences, but in a way that feels freeing, even exhilarating. The shift in context refreshes the mind and restores creative energy.
My Deep Play: Lindy Hop
For me, that space of Deep Play lives in Lindy Hop, the original form of swing dance that emerged from 1920s Harlem at the height of the jazz era. It is vibrant, energetic, and ridiculously fun.
I discovered it by accident years ago when a few friends and I stumbled into an intro class at Broadway Studios in San Francisco. I still remember learning my first swing moves; a mix of vulnerability and delight, of being both awkward and fully alive.
That single class opened the door for me. From then on, I went all in. I took lessons every week, joined competitions, traveled to dance camps around the world, taught classes, and learned about the art form’s African American roots. Lindy Hop wasn’t just a hobby. It became a part of my identity. It gave me community, creative expression, and a sense of belonging.
Then Life Got Busy
But as often happens, life took over. Work became more demanding. Personal responsibilities multiplied. The hobby that once filled my weekends with music and movement faded into the background.
For almost five years, I hadn’t found anything that brought the same balance of challenge, curiosity, and pure fun.
Until recently, when I found my way back to Lindy Hop. And with it, I rediscovered my version of Deep Play.
Dancing Between Listening and Leading
As an organizational psychologist and consultant, much of my work involves helping people navigate complex work dynamics. Leadership challenges, stress, burnout, miscommunication, identity, and belonging are common topics. I listen deeply, follow the thread of someone’s story, and reflect on what I hear with empathy and curiosity. I hold space for insights to emerge.
Surprisingly (or perhaps not), these are the skills are required in Lindy Hop.
In social dancing, particularly Lindy Hop, you rarely dance with the same partner for longer than one song. You rotate partners throughout the night. There is no script to follow; meaning, you have to be fully present and in tune with your partner’s subtle cues. There may be a shift of weight, a raised arm, a gentle nudge on your back. These are the suggestions to turn, pivot, pause, or flow in a new direction.
This is true listening because there are assumptions, overthinking or anticipation. Just responsiveness in real time.
The best dances happen when both partners are in touch with the signals. When leadership and followership become seamless and collaborative. It’s not about one party controlling the situation. It’s about co-creating something a moment of insight, joy, learning, clarity together.
This is also at the core of meaningful coaching, facilitation, or leadership.
The Unexpected Gift of Returning to Play
Coming back to Lindy Hop wasn’t just about dancing again. It was about reclaiming a part of myself I had forgotten; the version of me who chases joy, who embraces uncertainty, who learns in the undefined moments.
That return to dance has changed the way I view my work. I feel more grounded, creative and less stressed. I come into meetings with clearer thinking and more space for creative ideas.
An Invitation to Find Your Deep Play
As we move through this summer, I invite you:
Find your Deep Play.
It doesn’t have to be dance. It could be music, gardening, painting, hiking, or playing with your kids or dogs. What matters most is that the play activates a part of you that’s different from your daily schedule. The activity should challenge you and ignite you with emotions. Remember that the activity is unrelated to your job but will make you better at it.
Here I am, (joyfully) dancing with my dance friend.